All Hail Ye, Costco

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I made a trip to Costco for the first time yesterday. Yes, that’s right, I’d never been to Costco. In my youth, my family of five made an outing of our trips to Sam’s Club, a Costco equivalent that was the only nearby wholesale provider pre-millennium in my Ohio suburbia. I distinctly recall cruising the aisles on the shopping cart, snatching boxes bigger than my face of Bagel Bites and Italian Ice from behind the freezer doors.

After high school, I spent my nomadic years flitting around small towns where populations at times reached 75 inhabitants. There are no chain stores in island paradises like the Florida Keys or the Bahamas, and the spider monkeys I worked with in the Amazon preferred their bananas au naturel. So, naturally, a small-town gal like me was not exposed to the price slashing, budget-friendly, cut-out-the-middleman Costco.

Oh Costco and your impractically sized bag of flax seed that I tried to buy with practicality: “I will dedicate every meal for the next eight years to flax seed so that this purchase is made worthwhile.” Oh Costco and your bargains for underripe produce: “Eight avocados that will ripen at the same time! Looks like avocado salad is on the menu for next week!”

Costco, I decided, is the only place I feel good spending money. Costco is the only place I leave with a pure, unimpeded smile on my face despite my empty wallet. If you can make it out of there without spending $100, pat yourself on the back. You can’t help but be a kid in a candy store at this place.

Yes, I support local as much as I can. I frequent farmer’s markets and purchase the local hummus. But you can only be supportive to a point when you’re on a budget. And when I can buy a bottle of olive oil at Costco for one-third the local market price, I’m going to pay heed to my budget. That being said, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m already looking forward to my next Costco experience.

Disclaimer: Costco did not pay me to write this article. They didn’t even ask me. I just really, really liked Costco.

Question: Is it pronounced “cawst-coh” or “cahst-coh”? Or maybe it’s regional based on your accent. Costco… or Costco…? Ponder this.

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