Sorry for all you closeted Puritans out there who don’t want to talk about it, but periods are a real part of life. And us women have to deal with them. Often. Like, once a month often for half our lives.
And for some of us, it epically sucks.
Some ladies get cramps so bad we just want to lay on the couch with a heating pad and a box of Cheez-its all day. But we have to make ourselves presentable for society and get off our butts to make money to buy an endless supply of cotton. Menses in the workplace, not a fun thing.
Sometimes we have a game or a performance or, God forbid, our wedding, and the Menses have decided it’s the perfect time to make an appearance, rearing their ginger head most unwelcomingly. White after labor day? Whatever. White on your period? Forget it.
I wrote a stream-of-conscious ode to the Menses in the night for Witty Bitches magazine. Menses in the night=a whole new battle of epic proportions. Whether you’re a gal or a guy or a gal who doesn’t really, um, feel comfortable talking about that stuff, it’s time you joined modern women in turning period talk from taboo to normal.