I’m a punctual individual, but during the yuletide season, I slip up every now and then. Why, you ask? Because I love Christmas. I’m sorry, that should have read BECAUSE I LOVE CHRISTMAS!reuwatghGS;WOewihfi@$%HS.KWE9GU403*(^89OnjIPjL?,HN!!!!!
I get distracted by all things Christmas. Buddy the Elf? Yeah, that story was written about me.
Here are some valid excuses I’ve had to use when Christmas has made me run a little behind schedule. And yes, many I’ve used more than once.
1. Sorry I’m late. I had to finish listening to The Grinch on Pandora.
2. I got lost following a trail of Christmas lights.
3. I’m running behind because I needed to sew the snowman scarf back on my sweater.
4. Am I late? Well, I couldn’t find my matching Christmas socks.
5. Yeah, I know I was supposed to be here 30 minutes ago but I couldn’t leave until the dog finished opening his present.
6. Well, I made one snow angel. And then that turned into many snow angels.
7. I was busy wrapping up extra White Elephant gifts just in case someone forgot.
8. I was on time, but then I couldn’t stop sniffing my Christmas tree.
9. I mean, I couldn’t pull myself away from the video Mom sent of Dad laughing during the squirrel chase in Christmas Vacation.
10. I know I’m late but I had to finish putting all the community Christmas activities in my calendar.
11. It was a holiday market. How am I supposed to spend only 20 minutes at a holiday market?
12. They had Christmas-scented candles at the store. I made sure I sniffed every one… and I kind of lost track of time.
13. It started out as a gingerbread house. Then it turned into a gingerbread mansion. And the architecture just got a little too intricate. Sorry I’m late.
14. I couldn’t find my mistletoe lotion and it was really important I smell like pinecones for this event.
15. I couldn’t rightly leave in the middle of a debate over which Home Alone is better, the original or the New Yorker. We all know it’s the original. What? You like the New York one? Looks like it’s gonna be a long night.
16. Well, see, I have to turn off the Christmas music before the next song plays or I can’t leave the house. So if I’m too slow with the knob, I run late. Trust me, worse things have happened.
17. I was in the middle of teaching myself the Charlie Brown Christmas dance. You never delay a Peanuts Christmas dance.
18. I was trying to get through on that number that has students singing Christmas carols. You know what I’m talking about. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT?
19. I found out the words to “here we come a-caroling” were originally “here we come a-wassailing” and my mind was blown. And then I had to research how to make wassail.
20. Look, you like buckeyes right? Then you’ll understand my tardiness. My mom said she was going to make buckeyes, and that’s just a family affair.
21. I was learning a Christmas carol on the piano but I couldn’t get this chord right and then I looked up and it was dark outside and… On behalf of Christmas, I apologize.
22. My guinea pig and I were in the middle of a holiday photo shoot. One of us wasn’t cooperating, but I won’t say who.
23. I was running around catching snowflakes in my mouth, and apparently that eats up a lot of time.
Moral: I’m a little holiday-obsessed. If you’re feeling low on holiday cheer, I have plenty to share.
And hey, people, live a little this winter season. If you’re going to be late, why not be late because of Christmas?